Michelle McNamara

I have read many books, many different authors have touched my soul with the words they use so intricately and delicate. Most times, I use books to escape the reality I’m in, just get soaked up into someone else’s imagination. Not Michelle McNamara’s. I read I’ll Be Gone in the Dark knowing without a doubt it would rock my world, it did not disappoint. However, the more I read, the more I saw and heard how just intertwined Michelle had made this case into her life, the more I realized that certain people had a way to intrigue you, even if the topic is more than sinister. Part two of ‘I’ll Be Gone in the Dark’ ends with one simple sentence: “(Editor’s note: Michelle McNamara died on April 21^st, 2016).” The book then continues using bits and pieces torn out of her handbooks.

To replicate her style of writing especially being that close to an investigation was impossible, she was able to write the first-person narrative so many people crave. As a woman who has tried her hand in true crime, not necessarily writing, but mini reporting as I will call it. To deep dive into cases is one thing, to revolve your life around it is another. Many people aren’t cut out for all the negatives that come with it. There’s a deep dark cloud above the true crime world, one that if you let it, will completely consume you. Somehow (which will remain a total mystery) Michelle managed to balance the dark cloud and a light one. Many “keyboard sleuths” also live a very secluded “day life”.

Some live alone, many have fluffy companions but lack a connection with human beings, why? In my head, it’s because reading all true crime makes one hesitant about emotional connections in general. Stories featuring mothers killing their children, husbands their wives, siblings, siblings their parents, the amount of real-life horror makes me question why we feel the need to produce horror fiction. Not Michelle though. Michelle lived a life in the spotlight. Michelle stood alongside her husband, Patton Oswalt, who lives a life of acting and comedy, and has a true knack for true crime. When I first started researching Michelle, I found it very inspirational that despite having almost completely opposite lifestyles, they still managed to create a beautiful life for their family. They pushed each other in the best possible ways, without each other it's hard to imagine one without the other. Michelle’s career was full of researching real-life monsters, lurking in every shadow that could possibly be found, some in plain sight. Yet despite of that she leaves behind a daughter that will ask the world the same kind of questions with the same kind of urgency that Michelle did.

Detectives say that McNamara’s book didn’t solve the case, it kept the story alive. I feel like Michelle did more, not only did she peak the public’s interest in the case, but every investigator, detective, police officer, etc. that Michelle spoke to, she pushed to go the extra mile even if the decedents of the deceased are deceased themselves. For Michelle, this was never about the victims, past, present, or future, and I don’t mean this in a malicious way. What I mean was, victims were the victims. Michelle proved that you could completely change their identities, and she wasn’t spending day and night trying to find the clues victims left behind. For Michelle, this was always about slapping a pair of shiny, chained bracelets on the literal waste of space that committed these awful and unspeakable crimes.

Michelle was a victim herself, of a crime we too often hear about on the news, we see politicians fight about it every year to boost ratings. But because Michelle’s killer didn’t have a physical face or a physical being, it will go on about it’s day, taking more victims every second. Tearing lives and families apart just like they did Michelle’s. Narcotics in America are an epidemic we’ve been fighting for centuries. The autopsy report stated that Michelle was on a cocktail of narcotic medication, all which were legitimate and prescribed to McNamara. The xanax, Adderall, and fentanyl mixed with an underlying heart condition led to the demise of Michelle McNamara. Whereas at the end of her story, also unbeknownst to her, there was a conclusion. Joseph James DeAngelo was arrested on April 25^th, 2018, 2 years and 11 days after Michelle McNamara took her last breath.

Joseph James DeAngelo started his career as a police officer in Exeter, California from 1973-1976. The first know victim of DeAngelo was a man by the name of Claude Snelling in 1975 in front of his daughter in their home located in Visalia, California, 10 miles away from Exeter. Reports state that Snelling’s daughter was kicked in the face multiple times by DeAngelo before fleeing the scene. From the years of 1976-1979, DeAngelo was employed with the Auburn Police Department. His job was terminated after he was suspected of stealing items from the Police Department, soon after the heinous crimes that would continue to be reported for quite a few years to follow.

The summer of 1976 the rapes and burglaries began being reported. The manner of his ‘routine’ was odd, always stole petty and somewhat useless jewelry, coins, and ransacked drawers. Michelle discusses in depth about how many of these tactics were used to entice fear in his victims. The last known victim of the Golden State Killer was 18-year-old Janelle Cruz. She was found brutally murdered in her home, and after DeAngelo seemed to cease his unexplainable terrors.

When his name came up in the investigation in 2018, everyone close to the case kept their hopes low after every other ‘maybe’ previous. But when the DNA from a tissue found in his trashcan matched the DNA from the Golden State Killer crime scenes, heads spun. Somehow, I’d like to think that from the beyond Michelle was able to celebrate with the rest of the world Mr. DeAngelo’s new cellblock bedroom. In 2020 Joseph DeAngelo pleaded guilty to 13 counts of 1^st degree murder.

I think Michelle would also be very happy to know that the victims’ families were able to face DeAngelo and let him know exactly how he affected their lives and he acknowledged that he knew about the terrors he had performed. Michelle McNamara lives on through her popular novel I’ll Be Gone in the Dark which was only 2/3rds of the way finished when Michelle never woke again. She also lives on through her daughter and her husband who continue to spread the information about her book and the work she put into writing her novel. Michelle also lives on through her website, True Crime Diary.

There are so many more cases that deserve the kind of attention that the Golden State Killer case received but unfortunately there aren’t many individuals with the type of drive and determination to dive into them that Michelle McNamara had. For now, I will continue to do my part to bring awareness to cases both widely in the public eye and those cases that fall under the radar.

Thank you for your continued support and if you have case recommendations please send them to: truecrimeclubblog@gmail.com